Today I received an electronic communique from the Merkley Campaign. Not surprisingly, it was the announcement of another Serious Endorsement, courtesy of the Council for a Livable World. The note was signed by the Chief Operating Officer, Guy Stevens, and the Executive Director, named John Isaacs.
DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?!
Not much, actually. Just that the campaign is getting so lazy that they're now trotting out endorsements by people with the same names of campaign staffers (notwithstanding the only difference, the silent, irrelevant, and poor, poor H).
However, I must issue a word of warning. To Geoff Merkley, resident of the neighorhood of Port Hammond, in the town of Maple Ridge which lies east of Vancouver, BC: Watch out. They're gunning for you next. Sorry, I guess that was 7 words of warning, if you count the contraction as one word. Sorry.
Anyway, I am a master sleuth, but somehow, in my quest to warn this poor fellow of the ignoble fate that awaits him -- becoming just another notch on Jeff Merkley's bedpost -- I have hit a wall. According to this website, Geoff Merkley lives on Stonehenge Drive. However, there appears to be no Stonehenge Drive in either Maple Ridge or neighboring Pitt Meadows. DOES THIS PORTEND AN ALIEN INVASION? Maybe I've been watching too much Independence Day lately, but I don't know what else could possibly account for these discrepancies.
BUT WAIT! There's been an important breakthrough in this previously insoluble case.
Barely a kilometer east of Port Hammond, I have discovered that there is a Merkley Park! HOLY SHIT!!!
SEE FOR YOURSELF. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? The only possible conclusion is that the Merkley Campaign is now conspiring with Canadians to bring down its hook-ed opponent (it must have something to do with their history of successfully battling pirates). STEVE, WATCH OUT FOR FLYING HOCKEY PUCKS!
Thursday, November 08, 2007
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